♥ DAILY LOVE TIP – Monday August 8, 2011
“Every positive thing you do in your relationship is foreplay”,
is the saying on the T-shirts on Dr John Gottman’s site.
How meaningful is that? Like, you can’t get much more clearer than that, can you?
AND, says Dr Harville Hendrix, creator of the Imago Relationship Therapy model and author of a stack of many books on ♥LOVE, it is our job to create a Zero Negativity ♥Zone [ZNZ] in all our relationships.
It makes huge sense to me when both these two Masters of relationship research, theory and practice and with many, many years of experience make such powerful statements and are in agreeance that we unequivocally have to dedicate our lives to – developing and committing to living in a Zero Negativity ♥Zone [ZNZ]
I remember in my 20’s when people were strongly protesting and campaigning about Nuclear Free Zones and people were erecting signs at entrances to towns and all over the place…………….Do you remember how much energy people invested in that back then?……..and now I’m off in my imagination in a reverie of seeing Zero Negativity ♥Zone [ZNZ] signs all over the place – entrances to towns, suburbs, houses, schools, workplaces……..
Wouldn’t that be great? And people knowing what was meant by that…..Are you willing to emphatically declare and make a commitment to your relationships and your home as a Zero Negativity ♥Zone? Let’s support each other in creating that? Will you be in it?
So find out what your partner/’the other’ needs………., what says, “I love you” ………or what feels positive to your partner /’the other’ and give it as a gift. Learn how to love your partner/’the other’ in the way they want to be loved. That’s really the key. For any relationships to succeed there must be a rich climate of positivity.
what is CRUCIAL and
NON-NEGOTIABLE – let me emphasize it again –
it is NOT OPTIONAL
…..in all the Tips, the Exercises, the Questions, the Mirroring Topics and Practise, the quotes….in fact all that I write about in terms of changing your life and relationships – in my opinion it doesn’t matter how many books you read, how many courses and workshops you do, how much counselling you do, how many blog posts you read…………if you don’t put it into practice – in other words – ACTION – you’ll just die more aware but your life won’t be very different. It feels very important to me to be very emphatically stressing this for people to create success.
What we are about is creating new muscles and new habits and new neural pathways.
“However many holy words you read, however many you speak,
what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?”
~ Siddhārtha Gautama.
So a crucial question you can ask each morning is what is one new ACTION can I do today to be more ♥LOVE-ing? At the end of the day check in whether you achieved what you set yourself…..
A question I like to have handy is – What would ♥LOVE do now?
Have a splendid new week of creating the life you want, ♥LOVE Susie.
PS: Hey ♥Sylvia – I love your invitation to your friends on Facebook to join you in coming up with a List of A-Z of My ♥favourite things….. what a gift you are giving them!