INSTITUTE FOR RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT

Creating Happy & Successful Relationships

Dr Steven Stosny

Outstanding American EDUCATOR/AUTHOR/THERAPIST

INSPIRING PRESENTER of

3-Day Love Without Hurt Boot Camp

No More Anger/Resentment in Relationships

How to Turn Resentment, Anger, Verbal or Emotional Abuse
into Compassion, Confidence & Competence

 Boot Camp ONLY in Perth, Western Australia

Techniques that WORK * Create permanent change!

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Stop Walking On Eggshells.…..You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore!

Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship 

into a Compassionate Loving one

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Dr Stosny inspired all who attended his very successful event in Australia on changing anger into compassion – for those who missed attending, Steven has many articles and other resources on his website which we highly recommend as well as his books, especially “Love without Hurt: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One” which this BOOT CAMP is based on.

For more INFORMATION including a wide range of ARTICLES please refer to

Dr Stosny ‘s website – www.compassionpower.com 

For details about the BOOT CAMPS that are held in America see here

Dr Stosny, Ph.D. is the founder of CompassionPower in suburban Washington, DC, USA. 

He is a specialist in working with anger, abuse and violence.  After he appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show he was inundated by calls from men self-referring which is unheard of.  He has also appeared on “The Today Show,” and in the New York Times, Washington Post, USA Today, O, and Psychology Today. He has taught at the University of Maryland and at St. Mary’s College of Maryland.

Dr Stosny has worked with many thousands of clients using Compassion Power. The first Compassion Power program began in 1988, to treat domestic violence and child abuse offenders. Using a new technology of emotional transformation, the program greatly improved the personal and community behaviour of court-ordered offenders.

Compassion Power programs quickly expanded to treat non-violent, but unhappy relationships, with equal success.

He is the author of several books on improving relationships:

MOST RECENT BOOKS:

Living & Loving After Betrayal: How To Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment

“How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking about It: Finding Love beyond Words” 

“Love without Hurt: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One”

ALSO POPULAR:

The Powerful Self

Treating Attachment Abuse: A Compassionate Approach

Compassionate Parenting

Manual of the Core Value Workshop

Power Quest CD-ROM for Adolescents

Core Value Eating CD-ROM

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One of the most frequently asked questions we get in our work is:

“How do I stop myself getting defensive and reactive when we get into a heated argument and get triggered?”

What works is to remind yourself of what your CORE VALUES are and to act from them and to use the HEALSTM process

These are two of the many processes that are taught by Dr Stosny in the 3 Day LOVE WITHOUT HURT BOOT CAMP

These are foundational Tools to have in your Communication and Relationship Toolbox.
It is then much easier and more effective to learn communication and relationship and marriage skills.

The BOOT CAMP produces dramatic change in a short time for those who do the work.

Following Dr Stosny’s appearance on three Oprah Winfrey shows he was inundated by calls from men self-referring which is generally unheard of.  The treatment he demonstrated is what is taught in the BOOT CAMP. This three-day Workshop provides all the information and skills you need to heal the effects of chronic resentment, anger or emotionally abusive behaviour. It includes:

• 24 hours in-class education and training
• 11 hours recorded webinars
• 3 weekly group emails as follow-up [You can ask two questions of Dr. Stosny each week. Answers are distributed to the entire group with anonymous questions.]

The BOOT CAMP will help you develop a Healing Identity that marshals your resilience, strengths, and desire to improve your life for healing and growth. The tone is healing, not accusatory, compassionate not blaming, valuing not devaluing, and, most of all, empowering.

The negative effects of walking on eggshells can persist for years and almost certainly will have a negative effect on the children in the family.

Take the Walking on Eggshells Quiz

Drawing on his 25 years of experience treating more than 6,000 clients, Dr. Stosny teaches:

• How reclaim your natural sense of competence, confidence, and compassion
• How to stop resentment, anger, or emotional abuse from hurting your children
• How to be the person and partner you most want to be
• How to be motivated by your deepest values

What You’ll Learn:

• You can be abusive without intending to be
• The latest scientific knowledge of how emotions work
• The hidden role of fear and shame in relationships.

The Focus of DAYS 1 & 2 of the BOOT CAMP:

SELF-HEALING by developing CORE VALUE and SELF-COMPASSION.

For most people their deepest values require that they relate to those they love with respect and compassion.
When you fail to do either, your own emotions go to war against you. Every harsh word you say to a loved one and every cold shoulder you turn towards them makes you hate yourself a little more.
You will learn skills to re-condition your emotional system so that you can regulate anger and resentment automatically.
The only way to feel powerful, beyond a short-lived adrenaline rush of anger or a prolonged dull ache of resentment, is to increase self-compassion, which in turn increases compassion for those you love.

Day 1, 9:30am – 12:30pm – Commitments and foundational information

Day 1, 1:40pm – 5:30 – Self-regulation skills – Core Value and HEALSTM

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Day 2, 9:30am – 12:30pm – Review of crucial self-regulation material

Day 2, 1:40pm – 5:30 – Exercises for overcoming criticism, stonewalling, defensiveness, resentment

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Focus of DAY 3 of the BOOT CAMP: 

RELATIONSHIP REPAIR

Day 3, 9:30am – 12:30pm – Exercises for overcoming contempt, working through blind spots in interactions with loved ones, and developing the most important relationship skill: binocular vision

Day 3, 1:40pm – 5:30 – Relationship Repair, establishing safety and protection, overcoming post traumatic stress, connection dilemmas, connection strategies, relapse prevention.

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REGISTRATION INCLUDES:

24 hours of Workshop, Handouts and the HEALSTM process. 

3 sessions of group email consultation with Dr. Stosny

11 recorded WEBINARS:

• Core Value
• Building Core Value Narratives
• Temperamental clashes
• Overcoming Relationship Destroyers
• Jealousy
• Anxiety
• Binocular Vision
• Love and Negotiation
• Maintaining Gains
• Rebuilding a Betrayed Relationship
• The Reconnection Dilemma

The tone is healing not accusatory,
compassionate not blaming,
valuing not devaluing, and
most of all, empowering.

This BOOT CAMP is for those who have experienced anger, blaming, devaluing and resentment.

This work is for both individuals and for couples that are in emotionally hurtful and/or abusive relationships.

It is most effective when done with your partner. Says Steven:

“Attila the Hun would not marry Mother Teresa because they do not hang out in the same bars or their Match.com profiles do not match. If you think that you are married to Attila you are probably not Mother Teresa.” 

In most cases the devaluing will stop after the BOOT CAMP.
Absence of abuse is not enough; you have to increase Core Value.
Here are some questions Steven gets you to ask yourself:
Which works better: compassion or anger?
Which do you prefer?
Which is more you?

MODULES

1. Power vs. Powerlessness

2. Love, Anger, and the Instinct to Protect

3. Anger, Core Hurts, and Core Value

4. Practice: systematically replacing resentment, anger, and jealousy with compassionate negotiation

5. Application to everyday life

6. Recovery and relapse prevention

You will build you CORE VALUE BANK and you will learn and practice the HEALSTM  process throughout the 3 days. 
HEALSTM  is a CORE VALUE exercise. It builds emotional power, strength, and flexibility by changing core hurts to Core Value. It reduces the power of negative emotions.

The Goal of Practicing HEALSTM  is to build a skill the brain can use automatically, in a fraction of a second, to reach Core Value when aroused with anger, resentment, anxiety, or obsessions.

Just like basic training in the military, it takes lots of practice to develop a skill that works automatically under stress. The key is making the skill part of your automatic response to stress.

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Stop Walking On Eggshells…...You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore!

Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship 

into a Compassionate Loving one

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DATE: Friday 21st  – Sunday 23rd NOVEMBER, 2014

TIME: Daily 9.30am – 5.30pm

VENUE: St Catherine’s College, 2 Park Road | Crawley WA 6009

ENQUIRIES:  Call Shelton on 0477 141 069 or email shelton77750@icloud.com 

ACCOMMODATION: is not included in FEE. There are a limited amount of beautiful new self-contained apartments at St Catherine’s College. Contact Jodie at 08 9442 0585. 

WHO SHOULD ATTEND?
For the General Public & Professionals
Come with your partner, colleagues, friends or on your own.
The BOOT CAMP will benefit everyone interested in
achieving a greater level of health and happiness and
learning a practical approach to emotional regulation and
permanent change in all their relationships.

This is important  work for Therapists, Counsellors, Health Professionals
and Educators who want to increase their relationship practice, knowledge and skills.

Sample from 18 pages of handoutsGetting Your Partner to Attend a Boot CampChronic Resentment, Anger, or Emotional Abuse Breeds Self-Loathing