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Perth – LOVE WITHOUT HURT BOOTCAMP
November 21, 2014 @ 9:30 am - November 23, 2014 @ 5:30 pm UTC+0
INSTITUTE FOR RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT
Creating Happy & Successful Relationships
Dr Steven Stosny
Outstanding American EDUCATOR/AUTHOR/THERAPIST
INSPIRING PRESENTER of
3-Day Love Without Hurt Boot Camp
No More Anger/Resentment in Relationships
How to Turn Resentment, Anger, Verbal or Emotional Abuse
into Compassion, Confidence & Competence
Friday 21 – Sunday 23 NOVEMBER 2014
Boot Camp ONLY in Perth, Western Australia
Techniques that WORK * Create permanent change!
Stop Walking On Eggshells.…..You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore!
Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship
into a Compassionate Loving one
Dr Stosny inspired all who attended his very successful event in Australia on changing anger into compassion – for those who missed attending, Steven has many articles and other resources on his website which we highly recommend as well as his books, especially “Love without Hurt: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One” which this BOOT CAMP is based on.
For more INFORMATION including a wide range of ARTICLES please refer to
Dr Stosny ‘s website – www.compassionpower.com
For details about the BOOT CAMPS that are held in America see here
Dr Stosny, Ph.D. is the founder of CompassionPower in suburban Washington, DC, USA.
He is a specialist in working with anger, abuse and violence. After he appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show he was inundated by calls from men self-referring which is unheard of. He has also appeared on “The Today Show,” and in the New York Times, Washington Post, USA Today, O, and Psychology Today. He has taught at the University of Maryland and at St. Mary’s College of Maryland.
Dr Stosny has worked with many thousands of clients using Compassion Power. The first Compassion Power program began in 1988, to treat domestic violence and child abuse offenders. Using a new technology of emotional transformation, the program greatly improved the personal and community behaviour of court-ordered offenders.
Compassion Power programs quickly expanded to treat non-violent, but unhappy relationships, with equal success.
He is the author of several books on improving relationships:
MOST RECENT BOOKS:
Living & Loving After Betrayal: How To Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment
“How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking about It: Finding Love beyond Words”
“Love without Hurt: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One”
The Powerful Self
Treating Attachment Abuse: A Compassionate Approach
Manual of the Core Value Workshop
Power Quest CD-ROM for Adolescents
Core Value Eating CD-ROM
One of the most frequently asked questions we get in our work is:
“How do I stop myself getting defensive and reactive when we get into a heated argument and get triggered?”
What works is to remind yourself of what your CORE VALUES are and to act from them and to use the HEALSTM process
These are two of the many processes that are taught by Dr Stosny in the 3 Day LOVE WITHOUT HURT BOOT CAMP
These are foundational Tools to have in your Communication and Relationship Toolbox.
It is then much easier and more effective to learn communication and relationship and marriage skills.
The BOOT CAMP produces dramatic change in a short time for those who do the work.
|Following Dr Stosny’s appearance on three Oprah Winfrey shows he was inundated by calls from men self-referring which is generally unheard of. The treatment he demonstrated is what is taught in the BOOT CAMP. This three-day Workshop provides all the information and skills you need to heal the effects of chronic resentment, anger or emotionally abusive behaviour. It includes:|
- 24 hours in-class education and training
- 11 hours recorded webinars
- 3 weekly group emails as follow-up [You can ask two questions of Dr. Stosny each week. Answers are distributed to the entire group with anonymous questions.]
The BOOT CAMP will help you develop a Healing Identity that marshals your resilience, strengths, and desire to improve your life for healing and growth. The tone is healing, not accusatory, compassionate not blaming, valuing not devaluing, and, most of all, empowering.
The negative effects of walking on eggshells can persist for years and almost certainly will have a negative effect on the children in the family.
Drawing on his 25 years of experience treating more than 6,000 clients, Dr. Stosny teaches:
- How reclaim your natural sense of competence, confidence, and compassion
- How to stop resentment, anger, or emotional abuse from hurting your children
- How to be the person and partner you most want to be
- How to be motivated by your deepest values
What You’ll Learn:
- You can be abusive without intending to be
- The latest scientific knowledge of how emotions work
- The hidden role of fear and shame in relationships.
The Focus of DAYS 1 & 2 of the BOOT CAMP:
SELF-HEALING by developing CORE VALUE and SELF-COMPASSION.
For most people their deepest values require that they relate to those they love with respect and compassion.
When you fail to do either, your own emotions go to war against you. Every harsh word you say to a loved one and every cold shoulder you turn towards them makes you hate yourself a little more.
You will learn skills to re-condition your emotional system so that you can regulate anger and resentment automatically.
The only way to feel powerful, beyond a short-lived adrenaline rush of anger or a prolonged dull ache of resentment, is to increase self-compassion, which in turn increases compassion for those you love.
Day 1, 9:30am – 12:30pm – Commitments and foundational information
Day 1, 1:40pm – 5:30 – Self-regulation skills – Core Value and HEALSTM
Day 2, 9:30am – 12:30pm – Review of crucial self-regulation material
Day 2, 1:40pm – 5:30 – Exercises for overcoming criticism, stonewalling, defensiveness, resentment
Focus of DAY 3 of the BOOT CAMP:
Day 3, 9:30am – 12:30pm – Exercises for overcoming contempt, working through blind spots in interactions with loved ones, and developing the most important relationship skill: binocular vision
Day 3, 1:40pm – 5:30 – Relationship Repair, establishing safety and protection, overcoming post traumatic stress, connection dilemmas, connection strategies, relapse prevention.
24 hours of Workshop, Handouts and the HEALSTM process.
3 sessions of group email consultation with Dr. Stosny
11 recorded WEBINARS:
- Core Value
- Building Core Value Narratives
- Temperamental clashes
- Overcoming Relationship Destroyers
- Binocular Vision
- Love and Negotiation
- Maintaining Gains
- Rebuilding a Betrayed Relationship
- The Reconnection Dilemma
The tone is healing not accusatory,
compassionate not blaming,
valuing not devaluing, and
most of all, empowering.
This BOOT CAMP is for those who have experienced anger, blaming, devaluing and resentment.
This work is for both individuals and for couples that are in emotionally hurtful and/or abusive relationships.
It is most effective when done with your partner. Says Steven:
“Attila the Hun would not marry Mother Teresa because they do not hang out in the same bars or their Match.com profiles do not match. If you think that you are married to Attila you are probably not Mother Teresa.”
In most cases the devaluing will stop after the BOOT CAMP.
Absence of abuse is not enough; you have to increase Core Value.
Here are some questions Steven gets you to ask yourself:
Which works better: compassion or anger?
Which do you prefer?
Which is more you?
1. Power vs. Powerlessness
2. Love, Anger, and the Instinct to Protect
3. Anger, Core Hurts, and Core Value
4. Practice: systematically replacing resentment, anger, and jealousy with compassionate negotiation
5. Application to everyday life
6. Recovery and relapse prevention
You will build you CORE VALUE BANK and you will learn and practice the HEALSTM process throughout the 3 days.
HEALSTM is a CORE VALUE exercise. It builds emotional power, strength, and flexibility by changing core hurts to Core Value. It reduces the power of negative emotions.
The Goal of Practicing HEALSTM is to build a skill the brain can use automatically, in a fraction of a second, to reach Core Value when aroused with anger, resentment, anxiety, or obsessions.
Just like basic training in the military, it takes lots of practice to develop a skill that works automatically under stress. The key is making the skill part of your automatic response to stress.
Stop Walking On Eggshells…...You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore!
Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship
into a Compassionate Loving one
DATE: Friday 21st – Sunday 23rd NOVEMBER, 2014
TIME: Daily 9.30am – 5.30pm
VENUE: St Catherine’s College, 2 Park Road | Crawley WA 6009
ENQUIRIES: Call Shelton on 0477 141 069 or email email@example.com
ACCOMMODATION: is not included in FEE. There are a limited amount of beautiful new self-contained apartments at St Catherine’s College. Contact Jodie at 08 9442 0585.
WHO SHOULD ATTEND?
For the General Public & Professionals
Come with your partner, colleagues, friends or on your own.
The BOOT CAMP will benefit everyone interested in
achieving a greater level of health and happiness and
learning a practical approach to emotional regulation and
permanent change in all their relationships.
This is important work for Therapists, Counsellors, Health Professionals
and Educators who want to increase their relationship practice, knowledge and skills.
|Sample from 18 pages of handoutsGetting Your Partner to Attend a Boot CampChronic Resentment, Anger, or Emotional Abuse Breeds Self-Loathing|
$715.00 per person EARLYBIRD OR
$795.00 after October 21st
$895.00 with partner EARLYBIRD OR
$995.00 after October 21st
GROUP RATES are also available
call Shelton on 0477 141 069
PAYMENT: Bank Transfer, PayPal, cheque or cash
Many Thanks for your Registration and looking forward to welcoming you.
Call Shelton on 0477 141 069 or email firstname.lastname@example.org
if you have any questions.
Some STOSNY pearls of wisdom:
It is not rocket science – If you want to feel lovable you have to do something lovable!
You don’t get stronger watching someone do push ups – you have to do it yourself.
With each practice of HEALSTM you make your emotions stronger and more flexible in the same way each push up makes you stronger and more flexible.
Relationship Rule – you need to make it easy for the other to give you what you want.
You cannot assume what is happening has the same emotional content for you as it does for your partner –
it is especially important knowing differences between men and women.
Don’t assume your partner has the same temperament as you
The impulse to control or harm tells you that your current state of Core Value is too low.
While you can never lose Core Value, you can lose touch with it. The impulse to control or harm does not tell you that you need more power; it tells you that you need more Core Value. It’s like a petrol gauge showing that your Core Value is on empty and that you need to fill it up!
Self-compassion requires assertiveness – standing up for your rights and feelings.
The difference between assertiveness and aggression is that assertiveness respects
the rights and feelings of others, while aggression disrespects and devalues the rights of others.