DAILY LOVE TIP – Wednesday August 31, 2011

Hello dear ♥Friends,

I received a link to the article below in the newsletter of the Men’s Advisory Network (see their contact info below). 

I have included it in full as in my opinion everyone needs to know these figures and it contains really significant information – a good way to end off this transformational month thinks I …………


It’s interesting to me that the author, Peter used the reference to cows as I did in my blog post DAILY LOVE TIPSunday July 3 – I have a Dream……and my heart aches 🙁

My most important message in the July 3 post is DIVORCE IS PREVENTABLE if you have the knowledge and the TOOLS. And people NEED to and CAN be taught how to have happy and successful marriages/relationships……. And “Happily ever after” does happen….. 

I think it merits repeating some of what I said back then to quote from the July 3 post –

 “……..Recently we’ve had a lot of press in Australia and on Facebook about live exporting of cows to Indonesia and the abusive way they are being slaughtered and it seems everyone was up in arms about this and commenting vociferously and campaigns being mounted right left and centre and people sending emails and signing petitions and posting and re-posting info!! ……..Or, it could have been saving old growth forests or whales or dolphins or wolves or aboriginal rights or climate control or many other topics and people vocally and loudly protest and ‘carry the flag’!!!!

Yet what has and is still happening in our society is this topic gets ignored…..and we still have people predominantly believing what the young guy shared……..{insert – that his regular circle of mates would not regard his attending a relationship education workshop as an appropriate thing to do and in fact would consider it as evidence that there is something wrong with their marriage.}

Why is this♥….I just don’t understand it. There is ‘a war’ going on in many people’s homes and using weapons that hurt and harm – their words, their criticisms, all the ways they defend and attack and emotionally and physically abuse their loved ones; the ways they are harsh and unkind and unloving and withholding. The chilling line at the beginning of the movie “The Prince of Tides” that we show in our workshops is a good description –

“I don’t know when my parents began their war with each other, but I do know the only prisoners they took were their children………………………”


What Peter writes about are the statistics of what is the impact that separation and divorce has on many lives…….of what is the consequence of people not having the SKILLS and TOOLS and knowledge to create life-long LOVE-ing relationships and how to work with conflict when it comes up in relationships…… How sad for everyone involved in this. My admiration and gratefulness to the men that are standing up and speaking out about this. You have my support and I imagine the same from many readers of this page.

Even though the figures in Peter’s article are about Australia my imagining is that the figures would be fairly similar in the US and Canada.


                                                                                  MEDIA RELEASE | June 27th 2011

Dads on the Air | www.dadsontheair.net

On 30th May 2011, the community, media and Government were outraged, when confronted by the cruelty inflicted on Australian cattle in Indonesia, and it brought immediate Government action. Within days a whole industry was closed down and a valuable export trade was stopped in its tracks.

Three days earlier on the 27th May 2011, the Government released the ABS Family
Characteristics Survey 2009-10, which indicates that since 1975 almost 24% of Australians have been denied meaningful contact with their biological families, as a result of deep-rooted Family Law policy failure. Yet now one month later, we have still not seen one word in the press and there is not a sign of any community, media or Government outrage.
Instead a deafening silence greets the news of crippling emotional cruelty being inflicted on
Australian children and their powerless families. It would appear the health and wellbeing of the nations’ cows is much more important than the health and wellbeing of the nation’s
children and families.

ABS Family Characteristics 2009-10, compared to 2006-07
Summary of Findings

There were a total 5.0 million children in Australia in 2009-10.
(4.8 million in 2006-07)

Just over 1 million or 21% = 1,050 000 in (2009-10)
(Just over 1 million or 22% = 1,056 000 in 2006-07)

NON-CUSTODIAL PARENT = only 3%. (4% in 2006-07)

3. There were 441,000 non-custodial parents, the vast majority 81% were Fathers.
(82% in 2006-07)

Using the benchmark definition of “meaningful” contact to represent a child spending 20% or more nights per year with their non-custodial parent, it reveals the following disturbing result:

Of the children who had little or no “meaningful” contact, with their non-custodial parent.
* 45% of children never stayed overnight with their non-custodial parent.
(47% in 2006-07). This includes 24% who rarely or never saw that parent.      = 472.500

* 19% of children spent less than 10% of nights with that parent.
(19% in 2006-07).                                                                                                          = 199.500
* 15% of children spent more than 10% but less than 20% with that parent.
(14% in 2006-07).                                                                                                          = 157.500
* Total number of children who had little or no meaningful contact with
their biological non-custodial parent. (844.800 in 2006-07).                                 = 829.500

This is a slight variation of less than 1.5% over the previous period (2006-07), calling into
serious question the effectiveness of Australia’s 36 year old Family Laws and demonstrates the failure of our Family Courts to protect the rights and safety of the nation’s children, and now accumulating into affecting almost 24% of all Australians.

It indicates just 2 out of 10, or 20% of children from separated parents, continue to enjoy
ongoing meaningful contact with their non-custodial parent, as per above definition of

It also means 8 out of 10, or 80% of Australian children from separated parents, are being
denied meaningful ongoing contact with their biological non-custodial parent.

As a consequence, there were 352,000 non custodial parents, who had little or no
meaningful contact with their biological children living elsewhere. This in turn caused an
estimated 1.5 million extended family members to also be denied meaningful contact with
their biological families.

All of the above results reveal a crippling, social fallout, from deep-rooted Family Law policy failure, which raises some serious questions. If we consider the above outcome as actually being in ‘The Best Interest of Children’, then perhaps we need to urgently take a very close look at that definition.

Media contact: Peter van de Voorde – Dads on the Air, Australia – June 27, 2011 ©
www.dadsontheair.net – 04-28648691 – dotafeedback@gmail.com

Source: Men’s Advisory Network – Gary Bryant, Executive Officer
Claisebrook Lotteries House , 33 Moore Street East Perth WA 6004
Phone/Fax: (08) 9218 8044
Email: admin@man.org.au Website: http://www.man.org.au


                                                                         Are you outraged at these figures♥ What can you do you may be thinking♥ One very easy step is to speak out about your experience of doing Marriage/Relationship Education to your circle of friends. Ask them whether they have done any Relationship Education and if not, why not♥ Do they know the risk involved in not doing it♥

Are yours or your friends unconscious beliefs sabotaging the LOVE-ing you or they are getting♥ I met a woman in a social situation and I was talking to her about relationships and she said that she was part of a group of friends which was made up of married women of the 30-to 40-something age and what they sometimes did when sitting around having coffee together was talk about which of them would ‘break up’ first. This shocked me! This woman was in her late thirties, had a great body and looks, was warm and engaging and with a long list of other positive qualities, was highly successful in her career and was obviously a highly attractive partner for any man to have as I would have imagined her friends to be. And she was happily married!! I asked her why they did that and she said that most of them have parents who divorced and it seems like this is a fairly common thing that happens in marriages so why wouldn’t they talk about it and expect it to happen….♥♥♥

How come they weren’t sitting around sharing about what they had done to create more LOVE in their relationships or about this or that TOOL they had used with success♥ Is this an attitude that you have or do you know others who have it♥ This atttitude needs challenging.

On the other hand it is so encouraging and I am so grateful to see that there is a trend happening in Australia in that our Graduates are paying it forward and are bringing their friends and family to the work. It is also wonderful that often times they serve as mentors for those doing the work which has the double gift of strengthening and expanding their own SKILLS and TOOLS.

MIRRORING EXERCISE: share what this post means to you and what it brings up for you.

Todays’ Addition to my list of My ♥favourite things…..Men’s groups…Shelton belongs to a great group of guys here in the Hills and really dislikes missing his weekly evening with ‘the blokes’ and sharing in the wide range of topics they explore. If you would like to belong to a men’s group and you don’t know where there is one or how to find one I am sure Gary Bryant above will have contacts or be able to direct you where to look wherever you live.

Saying farewell to the month of August and excitedly moving forward into September and Spring and much growing, LOVE Susie.

JOIN the SEPTEMBER 30 Day Being-♥LOVE Campaign

Who are you choosing to focus your special ♥LOVE-ing on for the 30 DAYS♥ See details & sign on at –http://susiesheartpathblog.wordpress.com/30-day-being-love-campaign/