♥LOVE TIP  – Wednesday February 1, 2012

Hello ♥LOVELIES,

60+ Ideas for Having ‘A ♥LOVE Affair’ with Your Spouse / Committed Partner! [My admiration and gratefulness to my colleague Dawn Lipthrott for this marvelous and inspiring idea which I have liberally expanded on *]

Do you remember back to the time when you first fell in ♥LOVE with your partner♥………. Go on…. just take a moment and scroll through the pictures you carry in your heart of the good times you remember….it is also captivating to pull out your photo albums or look through your other photo storage files…..

 

….or your memories might be of special times when you’ve felt close and connected and in ♥LOVE…. maybe on a special holiday…..or at an event that stands out….. like one couple I know who have just birthed their new precious son……bring up the images of  your special times…

Most of us feel some yearning to the delights of the Romantic Stage…….Most new lovers move heaven and earth to catch a glimpse of each other or to just to spend even half an hour in each other’s presence. You remember when being together took priority over all else♥ You neglected other responsibilities, brazenly cancelled meetings just to be together, slipped away from work for extended lunch hours, stayed in bed for what seemed like days on end………. Nothing got in the way…..  And when you weren’t together you’d be devising ways to see each other and thinking about the next time you would be with each other…….•*¨*•♥♥And I onnnnnnly have eyes for yooooooooou♥♥•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*¸.•*¨`*♥♥♥

And then it ends. Reality hits……And it is normal for people to get to a place in their relationship where they feel like they have fallen out of ♥LOVE with their spouse or life partner. Or boredom and stagnation set in and it just seems like there are many other things you’d rather do than spend time with your partner.

Do you remember the reference I made to Stephen Covey of the “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” fame in the ♥ DAILY LOVE TIP – August 16, 2011  ♥LOVE is a decision, ♥LOVE is a verb when a man came up to him in one of his seminars and said “I’ve fallen out of love with my wife, what do I do♥” Without delay he answered: “Go home and love her!” This is such a great response!

 ♥LOVE is a verb….it’s something that we do, it’s an action. It’s not just a feeling or a noun. ♥LOVE is a decision followed by a behaviour. People feel loved in response to getting their needs met. And often we need to S-T-R-E-T-C-H beyond our comfort zones to do things that will make our partners happy and feel ♥LOVE-d. And remember the ‘hidden gold’ and gift there is for us to do that which our partner most wants and needs from us that is the hardest for us to do.

So here’s an invitation to “go home and love her/him!” and to jump start ♥ROMANCE, CONNECTION and ♥FuN in your relationship with these tips. Use your imagination and let it inspire your own creative ideas! Imagining all the juiciness of  falling in ♥LOVE with your partner for the first time……

Even if you are feeling skeptical and cynical I dare you to give it a go for the month. Are you up for the challenge♥…….. You can even set yourself a time limit if you are using the excuse of not having enough TIME.

Just 15 minutes per day for 30 days = 450 minutes = 7.5 hours over the whole month!!!!

Hey – that’s not a lot of time in the bigger scheme of things!!

♥♥PERMISSION SLIP:  To take the time for ♥LOVE 

If you have a reaction to doing any of this or can’t handle that your partner wants to and you don’t, may I suggest you see this as a “growth edge” for you. It’s OK to get stuck and not know how to do it or feel too uncomfortable with it. This would be a great point at which to get some coaching/counselling from someone who specializes in relationships.  Says Dawn:

“Most people don’t think twice about taking lessons to become better at what they care about: computer, golf, music, tennis, financial management, and other things. Relationships deserve and need that same kind of energy and commitment.”

 

When these areas are not attended to and they just get swept ‘under the carpet’ the “pile” will eventually trip us up and this is one of the main reasons we have a 50% divorce rate and probably half of the remaining 50% are unhappy.

 

So I invite you to make a commitment to have a go with this list of ideas each day for the next 30 days. Have fun and take a risk to be and to feel really ♥LOVE-ing and ♥LOVE-d.

The ideas in THE ♥LOVE LIST below are a good resource for doing the FEBRUARY 30 Day Being-♥LOVE Campaign [or 29 days if you wish as February is a leap year – for more info here’s the link]…….Focus on your  ♥Beloved/Sweetheart for the month doing a new action from the list each day whether they are your wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend or partner with a special surprise for the

celebration of  ♥VALENTINE’s DAY….What a golden opportunity to fill up their Emotional Bank Account with  ♥LOVE. Remember to choose actions that hit the target in terms of their top  ♥LOVE LANGUAGE…..

NOTE:  You can adapt this list for focusing your ♥LOVE on a special friend/child/parent/sibling/………..etc. The idea is to use THE ♥LOVE LIST as a template to create what fits for whichever special relationship you want to focus on.  Don’t miss out on the ♥LOVE and the fun just because you don’t have a partner at the moment. What is really sad is that surprisingly couple relationships are the ones where there is least affection and the most need to be taught what to do!!!

The first 30 on THE ♥LOVE LIST for Having ‘A ♥LOVE Affair’:  

1. Call your partner unexpectedly just to say you ♥LOVE him/her and were thinking of him/her.

2. Call your partner just to tell them one thing you appreciate about them. (or any of The 8 A’s)

3. Send your partner flowers “just because”, or ‘thank you for……’, or ‘because I ♥LOVE you’, etc.. 

4. Send an email or card to work saying that you ♥LOVE your partner and can’t wait to be with him/her again.

5. Pick up flowers or dinner or a treat on the way home and surprise your partner.  (If dinner, you might want to call and feel things out first!)

 

 

6. When you come home, find your partner and just hold him/her close for a moment (prolonged hug) – no words necessary.

7. Call your partner at 10:00am and tell them you are taking them out to lunch.

8. Call your partner, tell them you’ll meet them for lunch, pick up cheese, crackers, and then find a place to make ♥LOVE!

9. When you walk by your partner at home, touch him/her, or give a hug, or caress.

 

 

 

10. Wake up to the day as if it was ‘the first time’ you were alone with your spouse. Greet him/her enthusiastically. Sit and just look ♥LOVE-ingly at him/her for a few moments. Ask about them and their day and just listen and try to let them know you understand (even if you disagree) – no problem solving unless asked for!

11. Write ♥LOVE notes and scatter them around the house, in the garage and in the car. Put them where they will find them or leave them in unexpected places. Tell them ♥LOVE-ing things………… Surprise your ♥Sweetie by saying some in french, the official language of ♥LOVE –  “Je t’aime, Je t’adore”….. 

 

 

12. List 10 things you ♥LOVE and ♥ADORE about your partner or your relationship and leave it where they will find it or mail it or other creative ways of delivering it.

13. Try a new way to make your ♥LOVE-making more sensual and prolonged. (Can use candles, incense, longer foreplay, times of just kissing and holding, caressing, exploring each other’s bodies by touch, etc.)

14. Make ♥LOVE without penetration or oral sex – be creative in being sexually ♥LOVE-ing.

15. When you go to bed, sleep naked together without sex. Just hold your partner or snuggle next to him/her so your bodies touch skin to skin. (also good with pajamas/nightgown on)

 

16. Bring home balloons  (or hide them and put them out at night after your partner goes to bed) with a note or sign with something like… “I celebrate ♥YOU!”……… “You are wonderful!” or “I ♥LOVE you” or something similar……

17. ♥Pamper and indulge your partner one evening. (Examples: If watching TV, ask partner if would like anything – offer to put stool under their feet or take off shoes and massage their feet. If cooking dinner, volunteer to clean up, do dishes while partner just relaxes. Give back rub. Put on soothing music, etc…)

18. Next time you kiss, pause, look into your partner’s eyes remembering what it was like when you first met. Touch his/her face. Trace his/her lips with your finger. Slowly bring your lips to theirs – first gently kissing his/her upper lip, then lower lip. Embrace your partner and gently kiss them fully, letting your lips part, and enjoy every second of it. After the kissing is finished, just hold each other a few moments longer.

19. Plan a ‘date’ – arrange for baby-sitters, clear calendar, etc. (Good to do this one once a week or at least every two weeks!)

20. ‘Surprise’ your partner by taking them someplace they have said they wanted to go – a sporting event, a concert, a restaurant, a computer show, shopping, etc….. Do it even if it isn’t something you like. Enjoy your partner enjoying it and do it simply for ♥LOVE.

21. Make a list of 10 romantic things to say to your partner and say them from time to time throughout the week.

22. Create a romantic dinner either out or in.

23. Take a bath together with bath oils, or bubbles, and candles.

24. Do what you would do for an anniversary on a regular day – just because.♥♥•*¨*•.¸¸♥

25. Buy a gift that would be a treat for your partner – it can be a blouse or shirt s/he wanted – or something simple and inexpensive.

26. Plan a picnic in the park (or your own yard, or living room). Grab a rug, pack a basket of yummy food (cheese platter, fresh fruit, chocolates…………..mmmmmm) 

27. Even when you still have chores to do, take the day off, go to a movie (especially a romantic one) or do something else fun.

28. Call your partner unexpectedly during the day (or at night if they are out of town) and talk sexy to him/her, telling them how much you long to feel him/her, etc.

29. Plan a surprise getaway weekend for just the two of you – arranging for baby-sitters, dogsitters, etc. Take your partner someplace you think he or she will ♥LOVE. You can go to a nice hotel in your own city!

30. Greet your partner at the airport (or even when they come back home after they have been out) with a balloon(s) or flower(s) and an enthusiastic ‘Welcome Home’.

For the next 30 see http://www.relationshipjourney.com/romanceideas.html

Questions for you: Are you up for giving this much ♥LOVE-ing to that special someone in your life♥ Could you handle receiving this much ♥LOVE-ing♥

♥MIRRORING TOPIC: Share with someone/with us what this post brings up for you.  Share about which of the things on the list that you would be willing to do and which ones you wouldn’t and why. ♥MIRROR each other for a minimum of 5 minutes.

My apologies that this is quite a long post and that I have posted it a few days into February….Just start when you start! AND do what you can do! ……….With expectancy of many hearts opening and flourishing and a beautiful wave of  ♥LOVE and ♥JOY around the world,  delight-edly and sending LOVE and BLESSINGS, Susie♥

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* Dawn J. Lipthrott is an Imago Therapist and Director of The Relationship Learning Centre that provides education, coaching and counselling for individuals and couples who want to build and sustain solid relationships. “We help you take the relationship that you have and make it into the one you want” is her offer and I refer you to her website for much interesting information, articles and ideas.