♥ DAILY LOVE TIP – Thursday January 12, 2012

Hello Sweet ♥Lovelies,

Today is the 12th anniversary of the death of my beloved Russ Davey who was my partner for 25 years. My wish in this post is to honour him and our LOVE and our journey together. He died 18 months after he was told he had terminal cancer with 6 months to live……he was 47 years old…..


My wish in sharing is also to call you to deeper LOVE-ing of all the precious people who you have in your life. The thing that he said repeatedly in his life and especially in his dying time was:

I am so grateful to have been so LOVE-d by my darling Russ and now to have the privilege of being so LOVE-d by my darling Shelton who has been my partner for the last 11 years….

Some sharing from my journal at the time:


25th January 2000, Tuesday evening…..

Alone, nearly two weeks tomorrow. Feeling so overwhelmed by missing Russ. Listening to music [Forever] and crying and feeling like I’ll disappear in it if I don’t do something. Writing always feels like my salvation. Never know what it is I want to say. Feel oh so tired now. It’s midnight…………

I want so much to hold his hand
                            to feel his warmth
to touch him
to feel him
with my hands
with my arms
How could he be so much a part of me
How could he be so physical
And then just suddenly not anymore
And still look so exquisitely beautiful
still look like my beautiful man

Where’s he gone♥
My brain screams out
He’s still so much here
so much a part of me
in my heart
in my mind
in my soul
in my cells
in my body
forever him and me

How can he not be here
When every cell in my body
feels joined to him.

I remember reaching out for his hand
receiving the thousand of messages
our holding on said to each other
feeling the warmth that only he could give me

How to explain to others
How each moment is oh so precious
Is never to return again
How to teach them to enjoy to the fullest
The touch, the look, the feel
Of your Beloved
Appreciate their goodness
                     their beauty
find thousands of ways
to touch them
to warm them
to feel them
to love them

I can hold my darling love in my heart
He’s been there forever
Our love spans eternities
and he’s now touching me from Spirit
but I still yearn for this physical touch
his embrace
his encircling me through the night
his hugging me through the day.
I am so blessed to be so loved
                            to have been so touched

So many voices inside me
scream out loud
to others to hear of my sorrow
to remind them to not lose a moment
when you can tell your Beloved
of your love
reminding you to find new ways daily
of showing your love
Finding how many ways to say I love you.
Don’t wait for tomorrow
don’t wait for the next moment
Reach out now.
reach out and receive

Our daughter Zoe, with a passion to make documentaries and tell people’s stories along with the expertise from her studies and degree in Film and Television and Theatre Arts, created a very special professionally made documentary about her father’s life and dying and death called  Russ’ Story – One Man, One Journey, Many Colours which proposes that even when there is a physical death, the energy and life of a person continues to live in the actions, memories and experiences of the community. Zoe’s main goals in telling Russ’ Story was to honour her father and to tell his story and in so doing to increase awareness of the journey of ‘a patient’ as well as their family and community through terminal illness and to educate and show, quoting Russ, that everyone makes a difference –

“You make a difference, even if you think you aren’t”.

This touching and powerful story was nine years in the making and delves into a taboo of our generation in a very raw and open way – yet still sensitively exploring the experiences of sickness and dying.

To quote Zoe: “Death and dying is like the pornography of this time. Every other topic is now freely discussed and displayed but death and dying still remains hidden, untouched and very much taboo……… I believe that every story is important. In the telling, a story adds knowledge and a new perspective through which to view the world at large……” 

This documentary whilst very close to our hearts has touched many others and has helped them to deal with the dying and death of their LOVE-d ones. Many have experienced, and everyone will, the death of people close to them. Everyone needs knowledge and resources around death and dying preferences and assistance in caring for their LOVE-d ones which then empowers them to make informed decisions and choices.

I spent some time facilitating seminars on conscious death and dying following Russ’s death and was amazed at how little availability there is of good information about this topic especially when choosing home care and home death. Zoe’s documentary has endorsements from Silver Chain, Palliative Care Western Australia and Victoria and Documentary Australia. There are copies of the DVD available for sale if you are interested.

Just as it ‘takes a community to raise a child’ so too does it take a community to care for and prepare a man for death.  My wish is also to appreciate and to honour the beautiful and precious community that surrounded us through Russ’s dying time. Many, many people created and shared this very poignant and sacred heart time. So many hearts and souls were linked. There was an opportunity to connect at such a very deep soul level with Russ, with ourself and with each other…..when I look at how many huge lessons and gifts that were a part of it we all have so much to feel blessed for….So many lessons in gratitude, faith, humility, kindness, strength, willpower, compassion, tolerance, patience, laughter, lightness, friendship, caring, support, perfection, grace, dignity, non-attachment, being fully present in the moment, and the greatest of all LOVE……And yes it is still going on and on…….

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy”  ~ Martin Luther King Jnr… and who stands with him….

Question for you: What does this touch and bring up in you♥ Share about this with someone special to you.

For those of you who may have recently experienced the death of a LOVE-d one imagine my warm arms embracing you and holding you in your sorrow and sadness…….

Reach out to your ♥Beloveds NOW…..
Don’t wait for tomorrow
don’t wait for the next moment
Reach out now…….

Know that your journey and story is important and that YOU make a difference!  Hope your life is feeling as rich and as blessed as mine…. May ALL LOVE surround You, Susie.

One of the most valuable things we can do to heal one another is listen to each other’s storiesRebecca Falls

 “When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.’ ~ Marcus Aurelius

“Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond’s glint on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awake in the morning’s hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars shining at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry. I am not there. I did not die.” ~ Mary E. Frye