DAILY LOVE TIP – Monday August 1, 2011

Today first off I choose to celebrate me – for making a blog post everyday for JULY –  YAY!! That is a big achievement. I am over the moon! For me it is such a great feeling when I set myself a goal and then I achieve it…I have talked a few times on this blog on the need for celebrating and how as a culture we aren’t all that good at it. Right now even with what I thought was me having a thorough belief in the value of celebrating I can still hear a voice in the back of me somewhere quite sternly saying – keep quiet! – don’t show off!…don’t brag! Do you get those voices telling you off?

So I choose to tell that voice that it is OK to celebrate our/my achievements and that –

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter don’t mind & those who mind don’t matter” ~ Dr Seuss.

We’ll have to get a picture of Shelton and I doing our little celebrating ‘dance’ to share – you’ll just have to imagine it till then!

There is another action I want to celebrate and that is me choosing to saying NO to over-working. Yipee!! I can hear a loud applause from Shelton. I mentioned in a recent blog post about preparing for the new 30 Day Being- ♥LOVE Campaign for August. We have assessed all the tasks we have scheduled in the next few months and have decided that we don’t have the administrative resources to manage this at this stage. So the decision is to run the  campaign 4 times a year – we’ll do it seasonally – JUNE, SEPTEMBER, DECEMBER and MARCH. So start preparing to begin September 1st. This will be our Spring Campaign.

I do wholeheartedly want to endorse the 30 Day Being-♥LOVE Campaign as a process EVERYONE will benefit from participating in. Participating in the 30 Day Being-♥LOVE Campaign for June had profound effects for me and for others who have shared with us so our re-scheduling to begin September 1st is simply to do with us honouring our ability to be able to really show up and be present from an administrative perspective.  Some of you may go ahead and proceed on your own as I know some have already been doing and that is great. Please check in if you want some support or have any questions.  We will have a place for you to sign-on on the Events page on the INSTITUTE for RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/InstRelDev  as well as a specially assigned page on the blog….. Start thinking about for WHO and WHAT you will DO for the month of September..

So that’s two growth edges for me – firstly, setting myself a high goal and achieving it….and publicly celebrating it.. and secondly, saying NO to over-extending myself.


There are a few points I feel important to mention here as well. These are TOOLS in our communication TOOLBOX/TREASURE CHEST. 




We teach that an important quality to have in relationships and life in general is to be intentional. By this we mean say what you are going to do and do it.

For relationships to feel secure and LOVE-ing you need to say what you mean and mean what you say. The result of behaving in this way is ‘the other’ can then TRUST your word. It is also a sure way to raise your own self-image and self-esteem and feel liked you are in integrity. We also like ourselves when we are in alignment with our own values .




EXPERIMENTS: When we set ourselves a goal or put in any new action or behaviour we see it as doing an experiment. We study and observe what we learn from it. If we are not able to

be curious

follow through then we GET CURIOUS about what got in the way and re-set our intentions based on what we’ve learnt.

For instance, if I set myself a goal to give my partner a daily appreciation over breakfast for the next 2 weeks and I don’t follow through the consequence most likely will be my partner won’t be able to trust my word. If I want my partner to believe and trust my word and feel loved and cared about by me then I need to REPAIR this. The way to do this is to apologize and re-set my intention at a more ‘realistic’ do-able level. We need to take responsibility for what we say we are going to do and do it.

What you have discovered is that you haven’t been able to carry out what you set yourself – not that you are inadequate or incompetent or lazy or uncommitted or whatever other criticism gets made. It’s a great attitude to have as it takes away much of the blaming and emotionality and reactivity that often accompanies something like this.

RE-SET: The other piece of this is if you do achieve what you set yourself to do then at that point you can re-set the goal or you can alter it or you can just move onto something else as you are complete with that.

So with regard to the blog I choose to re-set my intention and make a daily posting for the month of AUGUST.

Remember that what we are doing is building our ♥LOVE-ing muscles and creating new Habits which takes practise, practise,

New habit

practise……and more practise…which makes P-R-O-G-R-E-S-S……. People usually have problems in this area because they over-promise and under-deliver. We teach what works best is to under-promise and over-deliver.

Another TOOL that is involved here is CHOICE and this is particularly in relation to whether it’s a YES or NO. I’ll continue this in tomorrow’s post.

  Question for you:  in the relationships that are important to you are you able to say what you are going to do and then follow through and do it? Share about this for a minimum of 5 minutes in a MIRRORING structure.

Today’s Addition to my list of My ♥favourite things….. Autumn leaves

How’s your list going? Did you get it started?

Enjoying uncovering and discovering and growing, with respect and ♥LOVE Susie.