DAILY LOVE TIP – Friday October 28, 2011

Today has been an important day for me in that I decided that I haven’t been taking good care of myself over the last few weeks and making myself a daily morning green Smoothie …..It is one of my top priorities……and so it needs to be one of the top points on my daily non-negotiable TO DO List………So what made the difference that I was able to do it today♥ A variety of factors have contributed to me not doing it but the strongest was simple! Don’t turn on my computer till its done! This in effect equals NO blog, NO emails, NO Facebook….NO workshop enquiries, NO client contact and requests, NO etc, etc, etc….. And I didn’t turn it on till early afternoon!!!!…….I say simple but this was a radical accomplishment for me….sometimes we need to take drastic measures :)……… And the world did continue to revolve I noticed…..

But seriously, how many things do we say are really important to us and then for a trillion reasons or so we justify why we aren’t doing it♥………And do you know I’m seriously curious how many times do we have to do a behaviour before it becomes encoded into our neural pathways, genes, brain, muscles, life…….so that it becomes our very way of being, our character♥

I choose that having a morning green Smoothie is as second nature to me as morning coffee drinking is to others….so I am curious how many times do I have to do it until I can’t NOT do it……actually being addicted is probably a way to look at it….and having ♥Gem and ♥Sophie loving their greeeeeeeeeeeeen Smoothies is a good way to make it work!! :O)♥♥•*¨*•.¸¸♥

This gets me thinking of all the good intentions people have with regard to being better partners and improving their relationships and who have that up there amongst their top priorities….. All the people who attend workshops and seminars, do coaching and therapy sessions, read books……and who haven’t been able to create the new habits that make

New habit

them the partners they want to be…….how we slip into being Fault-Finders instead of ♥LOVE-Finders, into letting ourselves be triggered and being reactive, into not using the NO SCABS RULE

C-riticism, C-ontempt
B-laming, B-elittling
S-haming, S-uperiority

into NOT editing our angry, resentful and criticising words AND thoughts, into not giving ‘the other’ the benefit of the doubt, into not crossing the bridge into “the other’s” world, into not validating their reality, into sharing our frustrations by complaining and blaming rather than sharing about our needs, and so on and on and on………..

My choice is being kind and LOVE-ing and compassionate and that this is second nature to me….and I’m curious how many repetitions do I have to do it until I CAN’T NOT DO IT……until I’m actually addicted to it too…

How does one change so that the new behaviours we want to be doing are what we do♥ The $64 billion dollar question hey♥ Gosh permanent change is so elusive! I’m curious what do you do to create permanent change that becomes your new default and ‘automatic” position that is lasting♥

I’m just sitting here thinking about doing an experiment with one of what I consider is an ‘automatic’ and default behaviour of mine and seeing if I can stop myself from doing it. The one that seems easiest to experiment with that comes to mind first is cleaning my teeth…..and then I think I couldn’t possibly go for very long without cleaning my teeth – it would drive me crazy! And that’s the way I want it to feel around being kind and LOVE-ing and compassionate…that it is just so automatic and second nature; like nothing would get in the way of my doing it whatever the circumstances.

I’m not sure I’m making sense here. Am I♥ I just want to throw this topic out to you and get a conversation started….It is an area that challenges me and many of the people I share with. It’s like we don’t forget to speak the language that is our native language….and we don’t have to think about choosing to do it……..My biggest question then is am I always going to have to ‘translate’ from the stronger survival strategies I devloped as I was growing up to my present conscious choice of being kind and LOVE-ing and compassionate♥ Will it and can it become my automatic primary language♥….

Love to hear what you think about this, curious and wondering, with LOVE and GRATITUDE ,  SUSIE.