LOVE TIP – Saturday April 21st, 2012

Greetings Friends with wishes for a very good day to You

A couple of interactions today started me thinking about people comparing themselves to others…….as well as comparing themselves to where they want to be….. which then leads to them being unsatisfied and unhappy with where they are NOW and what they are doing or how they are being RIGHT NOW!

And then with Spirit being so generous in sending messages there it was right there on my Facebook page. The impressive picture above! OK thinks I, it is time to reflect on ‘comparison‘ and writing is probably my best way of doing that!

And Yes, now that I am thinking about it, when I compare, ‘stealing my JOY’ is a good way to describe it. Comparisons can switch on my default-neural-wiring of “it-doesn’t-matter-what-I-do-it’s-not-good-enough” quicker than the time it takes for the light to go on when you turn on the switch! In other words VERY FAST!

‘Stealing’ is such a great picture of how it feels for me. At that moment my past ‘steps in’ and steals me away from being in the present. It steals away my ability to be noticing all the things that I am grateful for and that have positive meaning for me. It turns me into a FAULT-FINDER 🙁 My past propels me down the path of scanning for where I-am-not-good-enough AND my past/my wiring will guarantee that I will find it. It is dedicated to it. At those times it is like I am colour blind and all the things/places where I am good enough are the colours. When that old part of my brain gets switched on I can only see the black and white, which is where I-am-not-good-enough….

Comparison also takes us into ‘the general’. It is like I, the person Susie, am not-good-enough. Not the specific characteristic being compared – oh, that person has made more money, is more successful at_________, is a better trapeze artist, is more intelligent, is taller than me, is better at flower arranging, a better singer, more fit and athletic, is a more LOVE-ing committed wife/husband/partner, father/mother/, daughter/son…………or a million other possible comparisons……..It becomes I who is lacking AS A PERSON. It is I who is a flawed human being…….it’s NOT just simply that I am not especially endowed or talented in that way…….

…….. And people live their life believing the LIES and robbing themselves……. thinking that they are inadequate and not good enough………not smart or intelligent enough, not creative or artistic enough, not talented enough, not pretty enough, not successful enough, not rich enough………. Not____________(insert what you tell yourself) enough!!……

These are all LIES that were told to us when we were children. What were you told♥……… And remember it doesn’t necessarily have to been openly ‘told to’ us. There are many different ways parents and other authority figures impart their criticizing and disapproving messages to children.  We live the LIES in many different ways every time we don’t value our self, don’t believe in our self…….in fact all The 8A’s –

don’t Accept, Acknowledge, Admire, Adore, Advocate for, Affirm, Applaud, Appreciate our self and and every time we COMPARE our self and then judge, criticize and put our self down.

Question for you: What are the issues you struggle with♥ In which areas of your life do you compare yourself♥ What are the lies you tell about yourself or to yourself of how you are deficient and lacking♥

Of course it’s OK to compare yourself to others from the point of view of being inspired and to learn about how to do new things……there are undoubtedly many people out there already doing the very things that you want to be doing and that you want to be doing well. In my opinion checking out how others do the things that you want to do and using them as a role model is wise……this is something that I do when I am learning how to do things that challenge me…….for me this sort of comparing is about breathing that person’s energy and talent or resources into me to build me up and add to my strength and not to diminish or put myself down. …..In fact, I see it a bit like having ‘training wheels’ and when I have fully mastered and integrated the new skill/way of being I then step into being a ‘new’ more resourced and competent version of me.

MIRRORING PRACTICE: Share about the topic of ‘comparison stealing your ♥JOY‘ with someone and have them ♥MIRROR you for a minimum of 5 minutes and then swap or write about it in your journal. Include exploring what you do when you compare yourself and you come out lacking.  What would you love to have a go at doing, either big or small, that you limit yourself because of your comparison to others or a past way of being.

With a  reminder that – “Little Things Make A Big Difference” ~ Dr John Gray…..and

“We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make, which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot see.” ~Marian Wright Edelman.

May You be experiencing a nurturing and self-caring JOY-ous weekend, LOVE and Blessings, Susie…….

Lynne McTaggart’s work comes to mind when I think of the MAY 30 Day Being-♥ LOVE Campaign…..”Emotions of all types affect others – ideas of emotional contagion and emotions being infectious and influencing others …. What I do influences you and what you do influences me. One act of kindness has the ability to affect you, your friends, your friends’ friends….…” and so on…Ripples of kindness and LOVE….Make a difference to the people that you love and care about by joining the MAY 30 Day Being-♥ LOVE Campaign….