♥LOVE TIP – Wednesday May 2nd, 2012
Helloooooooooo dear FRIENDS♥
……from Mackay airport where we have just found we have an unscheduled hour delay. We are flying to Sydney to pick up our connecting flight [AND another unscheduled hour wait] and then back home to Perth…..So instead of just going Ugh!! and getting stuck into my new ♡Jodie Picoult book let me see if I can write a post, thinks I……
My apologies for being out of contact for this last week……and would you believe it’s now already MAY!…… We’ve been “on the road” and no time to check in and post before we left or since we’ve been travelling as we’ve been working very long and FULL days.
Our first stop was in SYDNEY for 3 days at the Business Blueprint Conference – April 2012 with the legendary and inspiring ♡Dale Beaumont. We were filled with all sorts of practical information and wisdom to expand and grow our business to be even more exceptional and to support our
♥Biggest DREAM and VISION –
which is to halve the divorce rate in Australia by the year 2015.
There’s lots of exciting developments and NEW expansion and growth going on for us right now which we’ll be sharing over the next month….as well as asking for your input so that we can be assured of being of the best service to all we come in contact with!!
Best way to stay connected to us regarding this and all our upcoming events and new programs is by becoming a Fan by ‘liking us’ on our Institute for Relationship Development Facebook page….. A sneak peek into our changes is our new business name. Tahdah!…… drum roll!!!!
It’s ♥LOVE-Relationship Matters.….what do you think, hey?……..
Following that we flew up to MACKAY – for the non Australians it is located on the opposite side of the country to us up on the coast in the north eastern state of Queensland about half way up.
In Mackay I’ve just come from having the privilege of working in a way I value most highly which is doing an Intensive with a family in their home for 3 days.
It included working with a couple who’ve been separated for the last 5 months and each of their 3 children separately – 2 girls; one 13 and the other 4 years old and a boy of 10 and then to coach as each child shared their needs with their father. As well I worked with the wife and her mother; her brother, firstly on his own, and then with her and their mother as well as his wife; and the husband’s cousin and her newly married daughter of 3 weeks who came to support the family for the weekend.
My only contact prior to this visit is with the wife who I have been doing online counseling with for three months via phone sessions. How amazing it is that this woman’s desire and commitment to create happiness and security for her children has rippled out and touched and created healing in so many lives!!!!
So hugely transformational and healing! My intention is to offer 1 Intensive per month and I welcome inquiries. Same as with Mackay I am willing to travel and because of our extensive travel schedule we are going to be in many parts of the world over the next year. It feels important to share about this here as few people have experience or understanding of this way of working and processing and the exceptional benefits to be gained.
As a Therapist and Coach specializing in Relationships and Family Systems and with a commitment to helping couples to create Strong Healthy ♥Families that are the most nurturing and safe Haven for all who live there it is such a thrill to have the opportunity to work with so many aspects of the system that a family is. And to work ‘on their terrain’.
Can you imagine the possibilities for growth and healing when so many people are involved and participating?
A family is a system and we are all part of a family system. It is only part of the picture to just look at individual dynamics. For deep and lasting change to happen one needs to explore and uncover how the family system got created and how it developed and how the different parts of the system influence you and impact each other.
We included an Introduction to our model of relationships which includes ♥KEYS to creating an ♡Extraordinary, ♡Exceptional and ♡Exciting life-long relationship. This is a synthesis of information from many different teachers and models of committed relationships and includes 3 of our favourite approaches which are Imago Relationship Therapy by Dr Harville Hendrix, Dr John Gottman’s work and Dr Susan Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy.
We include teaching about:
♥what is really going on in committed relationships.
♥how our unconscious actually chooses our partner based on our history;
♥are you in the most loving and happy relationship that you can dream of?
If NOT! then check out the Actions you take as these create the Results you get!
The next step is to change and replace your Actions and you will get different Results.
♥the STAGES of a healthy marriage/committed relationships and how and why many relationships breakdown and split up in the Power Struggle before the breakthrough into what we call Reality ♥LOVE;
♥how underneath all Conflict and reactivity and triggering are unmet needs from childhood and how the very things/behaviours we most need and want from our partners will be the hardest for them to do and that in S-T-R-E-T-C-H-I-N-G to do these very things is Healing for them and Growth for us and vice versa;
♥we react in habitual protective patterns when we feel threatened and unsafe. And these patterns trigger the wound and survival patterns of our partner which creates A Cycle of Reactivity……..
The things one does to protect and defend themselves in conflict will be the things that most trigger their partner who will then defend and protect themselves in ways that will further trigger ‘the other’ and increase the disconnection and ‘moving away from’ each other. We use the symbol of the Turtle to represent in general ‘the one’ who typically withdraws and tends to withhold feelings and thoughts and the Crocodile for ‘the one’ who tends to express their feelings in an attacking way and goes after ‘the other’…..
♥the enemy is the PATTERN
♥we teach how to replace this with a Cycle of ♥Positivity;
and to create the ♥Zero Negativity Zone
♥Our Major Goal in teaching this Work is to provide a Communication ♥TOOL BOX/TREASURE CHEST of exceptional ♥TOOLS & ♥SKILLS.
♥The basic foundational ♥SKILL is the INTENTIONAL DIALOGUE – MIRRORING, VALIDATION, EMPATHY.
Happily ever after…….. hardly ever happens unless we LEARN how to do it! We call ♥Relationships – the 4th R of Education!
A strong message we teach is successful relationships and parenting don’t just happen. EVERYONE needs to learn how to create them and to learn the right ♥TOOLS and ♥SKILLS.
It’s about ♥SKILL POWER and not will power. We need to be taught and then PRACTISE, PRACTISE, PRACTISE the same as with fitness, health and career success.
One of our new developments we are excited about is that we are going to offer this as a webinar and/or e-course so anyone will have access to it. Let us know if you are interested and we’ll send you the details.
And now it’s 1am and Yay! we’re HOME!!…and just finishing off……Would be great to have you leave a comment about what stands out for you…….
Much ♥LOVE and may your Relationships be a safe Haven that provide the space to grow your precious spirit, Susie♥
You are totally and lovingly kicking butt! Remember that’s my way of saying YES I love what you are doing. And- your seminar thing – totally interested in knowing about it. I’m just so inspired by you and your partner in the healing and opening work you are offering. So – cheers, yes, fantastic – rave on!
Dear ♥Elizabeth,
“totally and lovingly kicking butt!”…. Yay!!
And YES I do remember that’s your ‘way of saying YES I love what you are doing’!!…..
As always BIG BIG ♥THANKS for your ♥LOVE-ing support and enthusiasm! Your comments always feel so responsive and fervent and ♥heartfelt – like you are lapping up what I am sharing and then straightaway giving back to me. You are very energizing for me – one of my very own ♥ENERGIZER BUNNIES!! 🙂
YES – You’ll be one of the first to know about our new seminars and programs. WooHoo – the future is exciting! Much ♥LOVE and blessings, Susie♥
Ahhhh – you know – when I take the time to dip into your blog and posts and responses and river flow of Susi-ness – it always makes me smile – like for real. You make a difference – that’s it – that’s all – that’s a well-lived life. Namaste..
Ah you so honour me dear Friend ♥Elizabeth,
I am grateful. It is very sweet for me to know that I make a difference. And YES!! – “that’s it – that’s all – that is a well-lived life” for me.
WooHoo!! – a “river flow of Susi-ness” – you say the nicest things 🙂 Much LOVE♥
So many things to say! What a wonderful thing that Susie does for people. Susie’s dedication on this truly comes from the heart. I have been so lucky to have such a beautiful caring friend that put me in contact with Susie to be able to learn the skills and tools to help me with my whole family. In saying that, I have learnt so much already but still have a lot more to learn and teach me how to implement these new exciting ways. I am at the beginning of my journey and excited to start this with the tools I have been learning.
I must say that the results with the older children has been amazing. Three days and the change in happiness I see in older children is truly inspiring and gives me so much drive to continue. I feel that they have a great sence of security now in being able to tell their daddy how they really feel. Which is great as now the deep bonding between them and their daddy can continue to grow.
As of my relationship to their daddy is still uncertain at this time but am hoping that we can fall in love again. I am still in love with him but he is not with me. He has decided that he is willing to give it another go, which I know at this time is only for his children as they want us back together. I will accept that and put aside the hurt to build on this and my goal is to fall in love again and have a great relationship and a united happy family that is truly connected. I didn’t have the right tools and knowledge I needed at the time of our breakdown of the relationship and now look at things in their world and not just mine.
My actions created such hurt for my partner which I regret every day but I acted out of a place of desperation and hurt which made me make very poor judgements thinking that it would help. In seeing how my actions impacted on all of this Susie and I are going to continue to work together on expanding my tools and skills to achieve the greater outcome in this all. I think I was the crocodile for a while then I turned into the turtle!
I am already having such great response for the children which makes it all worth while to keep up the work. I LOVE my partner and children with all of my heart and beyond. They are the most important thing in this world to me so I am so open to learn all that I need and will continue to learn for the rest of my life to make them know how truly special they are to me!
So much more I could say but really need to start planning moving back home! I just want to thank my precious and beautiful friend ( you know who you are ) for leading me to the help I so needed and not only that but being available to talk to me at any time and being there for me. Your wisdom and comfort has been a blessing to me!
Susie you are an amazing lady that is an inspiration to all that have the pleasure to know you. Your dedication to your work in helping others is a gift. Your calm approach is very soothing and you ability to see the big picture is inspiring xox
Dear ♥Natalie,
Thanks so much for sharing here on the blog. It is such a huge gift you give to many in adding your story.Your choice to do the hard work of saving your relationship is truly inspiring and what you are doing is rippling out and touching many more lives than you know…. :O)
Committing to healing your relationship is such a precious gift for your children as well as your wider family and community. It is so heart breaking for others to watch their family and friends go through a relationship and family break-up………I very much value how you have involved your extended family in so many ways….both in supporting you as well as you challenging and supporting them.
I very much appreciate your acknowledgments. It is gratifying and a privilege for me to work with someone like yourself who is so eager and willing ‘to expand their tools and skills’……
A BIG YES – So hugely transformational and healing!
Much ♥LOVE, gratefully, Susie♥
Susie your post has brought waves of emotion, I feel so bogged down in confusion I cant sort my thoughts out. Just wanted you to know that you are challenging me as per usual, and your post is timely as per usual.
Dear ♥Gaelia,
Hoping things are much clearer for you today……
Knowing you as someone who is dedicated to growing yourself and healing your marriage it makes sense that today’s post “has brought waves of emotion”…….Thanks for letting me know that I am challenging you……. Let me know if I can help……
Isn’t it wonderful how blessed we are with things showing up at the right time when we are receptive……… 🙂
With ♥LOVE, admiringly, Susie♥
I love the positivity that exudes from your writing, it’s inspirational! I’ve always wanted to see Dale Beaumont, he’s an amazing achiever with a great system. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
Hello and welcome to susies♥heartpathblog,
I’m so pleased to have you share that you “love the positivity that exudes” ….. from my writing….. An important part of my intention with the blog is to write and share about and teach how to build what we call a ♥ZNZ zone – Zero Negativity Zone….so as someone new to commenting on the blog that is very affirming for me.
Yes ♥Dale Beaumont is “an amazing achiever with a great system”….Highly recommend everyone attending his free day Event – New Rules Of Business – which he presents regularly in the capital cities of Australia & in Auckland – http://www.newrulesofbusiness.com.au/
Hope to have you visit here regularly and see more of your comments on the blog,
♥LOVE and blessing to you, Susie♥