♥ DAILY LOVE TIP – Sunday September 11, 2011

Dear ♥Lovely people,

Hellllllllllllooooooooo this time from Brisbane, Queensland where we’ve been since flying out from Perth at dawn Thursday morning.

My sincere apologies for not checking in and posting the last few days…..I’ve been ‘struggling’ again with challenges of connecting to the internet at the motel we stayed at. We have now moved to some friends and are once again connected!! Hurrah! At the motel they were advertising fast speed connectivity – what they didn’t advertise was that I would have to log in every 10 minutes to stay connected! Very difficult and very frustrating when writing a blog post with the need to be connecting into a range of WebPages. What I have learned from this is that I need to update my computer ‘TOOLS’ to include my own internet connection.

Our visit to Brisbane has been very full-on and rich with interactions with many special people. Big Thanks to ALL! On the Thursday evening we presented an Introduction to Imago followed by watching the great movie “The Story of Us” and a discussion about it afterwards with the local Imago group. We highly recommend this movie as excellent viewing for couples. And for a “do-it-yourself” Movie Discussion Guide that will help you get the most out of watching this marriage-strengthening movie click on this link  – http://www.smartmarriages.com/story.guide.html

For those of you in Brisbane please accept a warm invitation to attend one of the monthly Movie Night events with this group. They are very friendly and welcoming.

Starting Friday night and continuing over the weekend we presented the “Keeping the Love You Find” Imago Workshop based on the book of the same name by Dr Harville Hendrix for Individuals, Couples and Singles to learn how to create life-long happy and successful relationships. Always a privilege as this workshop attracts people who are committed to their own personal growth as well as growing their ability to be relationally mature. 

On Monday there is the one-day Workshop on Hope and Healing after an Affair with a group of courageous people who are exploring how to heal their marriages after the devastating disclosure of an affair. They are willing to look at hard questions such as can trust ever be regained once it has been shattered……what factors contributed to the affair happening and how to affair-proof a marriage…..What is a good apology and what do I have to do to forgive♥……and many more topics….

There is so much to share about when visiting a new place as well as having the privilege of presenting the Imago work there and meeting lots of new people and re-connecting to ‘old buddies’. So much stands out as valuable so that it seems somewhat diminishing to pick any one experience and to highlight that when there is so many that have impacted me. Yet when I reflect life is generally like that even when I think about what happens over a normal day…….. How to narrow it down to the most significant for oneself is a challenge.

HIGH & LOW…..A practice that I like that helps with this I discovered from my first watching of The Story of Us movie some years ago and was reminded about again watching on Thursday evening. What the family does in this movie is share about their HIGH and their LOW for the day when sitting around the evening dinner table. It’s a great practice for sharing and getting to know about the other people you do it with as well as getting to know more about yourself.

Shelton and I did this as a daily ritual over a period of a few years while cuddling in bed before we would go off to sleep using it as a review of our day plus an opportunity to connect and still do it from time to time now…… It was fascinating what we would both choose. Often what impacted me most was how time and again Shelton would choose something that I thought really simple and ‘small’ for his HIGH for the day….something like me smiling at him….It is a process I highly recommend for couples or families or to do in any relationship….and it works as well for groups of people to explore getting to know each other.

♥MIRRORING PRACTICE: share your HIGH and LOW daily for the next fortnight with someone special and ♥MIRROR what the other says especially asking a few rounds of ‘tell me more”…

My HIGH is that we are being so well taken care of and supported by all while we are in Brisbane – an especial APPRECIATION to ♥Catriona and ♥Brett for their generosity,  ♥LOVE and warmth.

It surprised me to recognize that my LOW was when I was paying my account at the motel and I was telling the manager that my experience certainly hadn’t been the fast speed internet connectivity that they were advertising and she repeatedly told me that other people hadn’t experienced the same problem. She invalidated my experience and wasn’t able to cross the bridge into my world and be curious about or understand my frustration. She just kept repeating about all the others who didn’t have the problem I had. I attempted to inform her of her impact on me yet she was so dominant about her opinion that I didn’t continue yet I noticed how the sensation of dismissal felt.  Note to people in any business situation of the importance of validating ‘the other’. And as well it is especially crucial in close relationships. Remember that to validate someone’s experience we don’t have to agree with their experience – we just have to follow their logic and to see that it is true for them.

Question for you: where have you or where do you feel invalidated♥ Who are you unable to validate♥ What gets in the way♥

Todays’ Addition to my list of My ♥favourite things…..♥ is the The Story of Us movie and the HIGH & LOW practice…..

sending ♥LOVE and validation to you, ♥Susie

A Note that I am transferring the 11th of the month Shelton-&-Susie’s day to Tuesday for this month as we have worked on the 11th and we can play on Tuesday! 

                                                                     And a message to KEEP SMILING –

Smiles relieve STRESS……  

Your body immediately releases endorphins when you smile, even when you force it. This sudden change in mood can help you feel better and reduce stress………..