new mind-sets and new tools

by susiesheartpathblog on December 13, 2011

♥ DAILY LOVE TIP – Tuesday December 13, 2011

Hello Friends,

We've been flying yet again.... this time returning late last night back from SYDNEY into our beautiful home city of PERTH. .....Feeling good to be Home again after 2 weeks away....

We have returned filled to the brim with so many new ideas and what feels like a totally new mind-set from our 4-Day training program with DALE  BEAUMONT - http://www.dalebeaumont.com/ ...The program is called “PROFILE ACCELERATOR” .....and it is mind-boggling how 'accelerated' we feel.....it's like I feel my whole world is turned upside down...like I am looking from a totally different viewpoint......I mentioned to Shelton a  couple of times that it feels like I am standing on my head upside down because there are so many things that I am seeing from such a TOTALLY changed perspective.....all is good though...

This training program has been about many things with a central focus on how we run our business and we have come away with such a rich and overflowing treasure box of TOOLS to do it SMARTER and better. There were so many times as we participated in this that I was making a parallel to what we hear happens for the participants of the Imago Communication Workshops we teach........How their world feels turned upside down and how they learn that many times in relationships they need to do ACTIONS that sometimes feel counter-intuitive.....

It was very exciting....yet we also know there is much work before us to implement the various strategies and use the TOOLS that we have learned about.....as it is for people after discovering what their committed relationships are trying to teach them and what is really going on when there is conflict and disconnection and there is struggling and feeling like they have fallen out of LOVE.......

Some ♥'Dale sayings' that I liked that apply equally to relationships:
If you find out what people want and give it to them you will always succeed.
Flick on your “I can do it” switch inside your head.
You can make money, or you can make excuses – you can’t make both.... What is it going to be♥ (insert LOVE in the place of money)
Everything is hard before it is easy.
Progress is more important than perfection.
Don’t major in the minors.

So for our next important step we need your help. Your answers are a key that will assist us to improve and grow.

Here's A ♥QUESTION for you: To those of you who have done our workshops the question we would appreciate you answering is -

What went away/changed/improved when you did the work with us♥

I also invite you to answer this question in relation to reading the blog and being influenced by my writing and posts. Please leave your Answers in the COMMENTS....I always find it is helpful for others to read a range of comments as it reminds and inspires them... or email me if you would prefer to be private.....

Talking about mind-sets, I had an unfortunate experience yesterday in Sydney. We decided to stay a day after the training to 'play' a bit.....which was unfortunately not to be as I left my purse on the bus we were on and it was stolen. It had many credit cards and all the 'other stuff' that one carries in it like driver's licence and various other 'identifying cards' that all have to be replaced.....plus quite a bit of cash in many different currencies..........It was an interesting experience watching myself as we retraced our steps looking for it.......getting less and less hopeful of finding it....and then going through the process of going back to our hotel and finding the various contact numbers and ringing to block the visa cards........observing myself being grumpy and mad and on the edge of getting sharp and harsh and unkind......and really getting that no matter what had happened I had a choice about the way that I responded or reacted to the circumstances..... It was quite wonderful to recognize that I had a choice despite the situation I was in whether I stayed LOVE-ing and kind or whether I became angry and harsh and unkind....and how seductive it was to excuse myself because something 'bad' had happened to me!!!

A big reminder of Glenn Capelli's song- http://www.glenncapelli.com/song-lyrics.html - ringing in my head.......       

The big A in my life is not Ability     
The big A in my life is not Agility
They’re important it’s true
But I’ve got news for you
The big A in my life is ATTITUDE....... 

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” ~ Brain Tracy

Question for you: Do you excuse your reactive 'bad' and un-LOVE-ing behaviour because 'the other' is doing or has done actions that are hurtful/abusive/attacking....... etc.....Share about this topic with someone close to you using the MIRRORING format.

Here's to a many new adventures unfolding before us in all areas of our lives as we near the beginning of 2012...... ♥LOVE and Blessings Susie. 

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Comments

Chris says:

Hi Susie,
Many years ago I was returning to my marriage after a 3 1/2 year separation. I participated in your imago workshop and learned about my primary and disowned selves. I became acutely aware of the ways my primary selves tried to help me save face in an argument, by rushing in to make me angry, punishing, superior and avoidant. Doing this only made the chasm between us deeper and wider. I felt lonely and distanced as I am sure he did as well. The primary selves were clearly not helping as they might have once done when I needed them as a young child. Once I realised I had a choice in any situation and could use my disowned selves (compassionate, listener, calm, assertive ) when challenged, I not only felt in my own power, but I was able to provide a mirror for my husband who was stuck in his primary selves at the time. I taught him the imago techniques and within a very short time both he and I recognised what we were doing and we stayed focused on loving each other and connecting even though we disagreed. I am happy to say that 16 years down the track, we are living the imago way and more in love (now in our 60′s) than ever before.
Chris

Thank you for the post Susie, I really enjoyed reading it. Especially for sharing your personal experiences in Sydney yesterday. I found this especially valuable, as getting angry in such a situation is widely regarded as understandable and even acceptable- and automatic! For me your post challenges that, puts the situation in the bigger picture, and highlights that you really do need to remain aware, as automatic responses aren’t always the best one for you! Thank you Susie! <3 <3 <3

Liara says:

Appreciate the uplifting sentiments you share here and also how you reach out to others for feedback. One perspective is that everyone exists to empower or somehow help others. Your own example reminds people that it is by loving and caring for the self that a person actually nurtures something extra-meaningful to give back to others.

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