Home & my unconscious and automatic behaviours and routines

by susiesheartpathblog on March 27, 2011

Sunday – 6th March 2011

Preface: Sunday 27th March 2011

I know you will find this hard to believe :O) but it’s now March 27th and I am finishing writing this post only now!!- gasp! - 3 weeks later! This is the third day of our Caribbean cruise and the last 2 days have been at sea and we are now moored off shore from our first port of call of Samana, on the Dominican Republic.  I’m sitting typing this in an idyllic setting – I decided to stay on the ship rather than go ashore as we are only stopping here from 11am – 5pm........and take some time out and relax in the Spa & Thermal Suite (which I describe in much fuller detail in the March 26th post).....so I am sitting in the lounging and relaxation area of the Spa Suite that has a full ocean view through these floor to ceiling windows and is at the very back of the ship on the 12th floor..... picture a beautiful bay before me which is the entrance off in the distance to this small tropical island....dotted here and there with boats which are ferrying the people from the ship...whilst to my left the ocean goes as far as the horizon...the sun sparkling on the water across the vast expanse, blue sky above....and to top all that I have this whole space to myself as I am the only one in the room...Yay!!

Forgive me for missing posting my writings for these last few weeks. Life was pretty full on when we returned home to Warm Fuzzy Hill in Western Australia having been away for a couple of weeks and with only 2 weeks to go before we were to go away again....and this time overseas for four and a half months. What seemed to happen is that I would start writing and then wasn’t able to get around to finishing it ......now I can see that it would have been a better idea to just post what I had done rather than thinking that it had to be a certain length, etc...... So what I will do from now on is just post what I have written and not think it has to be a certain length or that I have to do something for everyday which was my original intention....

Question for you: What behaviour/s are you stuck in doing a certain way that may benefit from you looking at in a different way♥

By the way I think it is delightful that I just took a break and went back into the bathroom area and there is a young girl in there who I have never seen before who is cleaning out the towels and robes to take to the laundry and we say hello to each other and she asks me if am I the one who is working on the computer♥ “You are supposed to be relaxing” she says kindly but firmly. Isn’t it amazing♥ We are always looked after with loving reminders coming from many places. So I am sending a reminder to be kind to yourself in whatever you are doing today... whether it is doing what you normally do or whether you are trying on some new behaviours.....also a reminder to take some time out to relax. So with that I am going to go back to relax in the steam room for some time and then I am going to meet Shelton for a late lunch.

Question for you: Are you taking some time for you today to relax♥

___________________________________

Sunday – 6th March 2011

We are at home finally after our 2 weeks away – Has it only been 2 weeks I think♥♥ - And feeling a bit disoriented after so much travelling and broken sleep and so many experiences to take in. I had a chance to have a good sleep in this morning so that was good – it’s always good to come back home to our own bed and pillows.....Been moseying - not sure whether that is a word - moseying around a bit today...feeling challenged by the prospect of only having just over 2 weeks - only 16 more sleeps till we leave again!!! Wow! We were greeted back home to Warm Fuzzy by one of my favourite flowers - the pink Easter lilies starting to come up through the summer hardened soil… always a sign for me of the seasons changing and Autumn coming…

I decide to treat myself to an hour’s sauna and to spend the time in reflection and writing.  A big thing that is standing out for me as I reflect on our trips is the routines we get into in whichever environments we are in. How we go on automatic pilot and just do things according to the things that are around us. I want to exercise but there are no I can do it 100 steps to climb up, I want to go swimming but there are no I am strong and pain-free pools that are nearby and easy to get to, I’d love a massage but no..... You get the idea. And right now I have to make food for myself so I have to go shopping and refill the fridge and then prepare it, and I have work to do/to catch up on for our business, family and friends to see, clients to see ....our five acre Warm Fuzzy Hill property to look after..... and there are many other daily commitments for all of us.

What is interesting to note is that the physical things that I have around me are unconsciously cueing me into automatic behaviours and routines for this environment. As we travel frequently overseas and in Australia I have noticed this effect many times before.  Simple examples are going to open the fridge door on the side you are used to; switches in the US are up for on and in Australia down for on; in the car the indicators and wind screen wipers are on opposite sides of the driving wheel in Australia and the US so for a while after returning home to each of these countries turning corners is accompanied by wind screen wipers going on....not to mention the confusion sometimes of which side of the car to get into and which side of the road to drive on!

So why focus on this you might be asking♥  What this has got to do with relationships is of particular importance to me. We behave automatically and unconsciously around the people we are in regular contact with as well as the environments we are in. What is even more profound is the closer we are to someone or the stronger/more significant the relationship is the stronger this impact is. As well, another factor that is going on is ‘the other’ expects us and in fact inducts/provokes us to behave in the ways they are used to us acting even if they are constantly telling us that they want us to be different – like wanting us to behave in more positive ways; for example - paying more attention, being kind, respectful, etc., etc. And this works the other way around too. There are no accidents that you behave the way you do around the significant people to you and vice versa. It is all programmed into both of your neural pathways and has become automatic and unconscious.

So we have to be very mindful and careful and intentional when we re-enter our normal environments in terms of our interactions with others and as well when we start behaving differently our old brain and our own internal automatic survival modes of being will be threatened.

So my focus will be what do I have to do to incorporate my new routines into what is automatic for me to do at home♥ Most of the group have left Kerala with intentions of making significant changes in their lives and relationships and it is good to know that we are all supporting each other in our quests.

Question for you: What new routine/behaviour are you willing to experiment with bringing into your life♥

I’m reminding myself that little things make a big difference... starting with baby steps....to just keep on extending myself bit by bit; step by step....I can do it steps!.... choosing SMART steps –  steps that are specific, measurable, achievable and do-able and realistic and doing them over and over until it becomes a HABIT....This is another of our TOOLS from our TOOLBOX/TREASURE CHEST - The ACTIONS I take create the RESULTS I get... 

 

The ACTIONS I take create the RESULTS I get

 

.....I need to be kind to myself as change takes time and practice, practice, practice and remembering I have “L” plates (another TOOL) and that each time I try on a new way of behaving it is an experiment.

Keep tuned as I explore this topic and meanwhile Happy Experimenting and growing,

                                                  Love and gratitude, Susie.

Be Sociable, Share!

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

Comments

Previous post:

Next post: