♥Mirroring – giving quality attention & deep heart listening

by SusieItz on July 9, 2011

 DAILY LOVE TIP – Saturday July 9, 2011

  “To See a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.” ~ William Blake

“Write injuries in sand, kindnesses in marble” ~French proverb 

“If you must speak ill of another, do not speak it, write it in the sand near the water's edge''~ Napoleon Hill

Isn't it amazing how you can take any topic - Sand - and in the matter of a few minutes exploring discover a whole pile of wisdom.......!! 

It is also amazing to spend just 5 minutes giving quality attention and listening to another how much wisdom you will uncover. A special exercise to get to know the people who are important to you is to have them talk for a minimum of 5 minutes (or however long the 2 of you agree to) about any topic and for you to mirror them.  MIRRORING is the foundational TOOL of the Imago dialogue and all Imago processes.

MIRRORING is the skill of reflecting back, as accurately as possible, the message the other person sends.  We connect to our heart and we repeat back word for word what the other person says by being a “flat” mirror which means the emotional tone and intensity of the Sender (the one speaking) are also reflected, without mimicking.

 “What I heard you say was….” or “You said…….”

Questions are limited to:

“Tell me more........”

“Did I get it/Did I get you?”

Mirroring requires us to give our undivided attention and to be open to hear another’s view of the world whilst suspending our own perspective and letting it just be about them. The idea is to allow the Sender to inform and influence you. If you go into a dialogue and don't learn anything new and haven’t let ‘the other’ impact you, we say you need to get curious about what is going on for you and learn how to come out of your own space. 

Even if you’ve heard them talk about this topic 100 times before, if you have the attitude that you are going to listen to their sharing and see and hear their words and world as sacred and precious, our experience is that they will actually tell you something different this time. Your attitude will energetically make it safe enough for them to ‘go’ somewhere different inside them.

Pick ANY topic – a different one each day for the next week/month/year and get to know ‘the other’ and yourself a whole lot deeper. Use the ‘Sand’ quotes above or other topics are Rocks, I wish I had....…....., Mountains, Cats, The Moon, Joy, Writing letters, Music, Mum’s cooking, Jewels,  Movies, If I wasn’t me I’d like to be....…, Fragrance, LOVE, Beauty, My happiest moments were….......or ANYTHING....... Close your eyes and let your finger land on a word in a magazine or paper and speak about that.....there are abundant topics to choose from.

It's good if you swap and both people have a turn speaking. You can structure it so that one person speaks and then you swap and the other does. Or you can set it up to listen one day to one person and alternate days to the other......or week about and have the focus on one person sharing at a time........be as creative and flexible as you wish  Above all ENJOY and be open!.........Doing this both people learn to listen and to speak intentionally and consciously.

You can use this exercise with ALL types of relationships - parent to child, siblings, friends, work colleagues.......

I'm imagining your hearts opening and connecting and filling up, LOVE Susie♥♥

 “I love you, not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you.” ~ Roy Croft

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Comments

Annie says:

Mum and I enjoyed this process/ exercise it really brought us closer i have learnt so much of mums feelings and i have and will do more to help her out with more things!!!!!
India

India♥, Thanks for writing and sharing that you enjoyed the Mirroring Exercise and that it really brought you and Mum closer. It’s great when we take the time to really listen how it is for the other. And I am sure Mum will very much appreciate you helping her out.
How’s it been going now that it’s a week later? One of the things that is good when we set ourselves a goal is to see it as an experiment and to check in later – and a week is a good time- and see how we are doing. Then we celebrate if we are achieving what we set ourselves or if we haven’t been successful we check out what has been getting in the way and do what we can to change it. Love to hear how you’re doing. LOVE Susie♥

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